Wednesday, July 27, 2005
National Excusess
We Are Singapore~! We Are Singapore~! The Singapore Spirit!
1. NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS : Maggi Mee.
2. NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE : Traffic Jam.
3. NATIONAL CONDOM : None. Most Asians still feel embarrassed buying condoms.So they rush into a 7-Eleven, grab the nearest pack, any brand also can, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye
4. NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION: Pineapple
5. NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK: Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints, they start swearing at everything...
6. NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN): Food Poisoning.
7. NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN): Menstrual Pain.
8. NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, got early appointment, food not digested yet, aircon not cold enough, aircon too cold, nail polish not dried yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no water supply, going to watch "Santa Barbara", depressed, no mood, etc.
9. NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: None. Asian men never refuse sex.
10. NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES: Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails, we have another secret weapon.....Tiger Balm.
11. NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS: Minyak Angin Cap Kapak (Axe oil).
12. NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): Happy Hours.
13. NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): The sight of a police road block.
14. NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP: Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
15. NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME: Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! On second thought, why bother pronouncing Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better, when the local mechanics say "Pew Jeot". When I was in school, Milo was always Mee Lo, now that I'm sophisticated, I say "My Lo". So don't be embarrassed saying "Carry 4" when the Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as "rangutan".
16. NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION: The Bra-less Tourists. See how heads turn and traffic slows down or causes even tailback car accidents when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes bouncing about on the streets.
1. NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS : Maggi Mee.
2. NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE : Traffic Jam.
3. NATIONAL CONDOM : None. Most Asians still feel embarrassed buying condoms.So they rush into a 7-Eleven, grab the nearest pack, any brand also can, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye
4. NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION: Pineapple
5. NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK: Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints, they start swearing at everything...
6. NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN): Food Poisoning.
7. NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN): Menstrual Pain.
8. NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, got early appointment, food not digested yet, aircon not cold enough, aircon too cold, nail polish not dried yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no water supply, going to watch "Santa Barbara", depressed, no mood, etc.
9. NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: None. Asian men never refuse sex.
10. NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES: Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails, we have another secret weapon.....Tiger Balm.
11. NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS: Minyak Angin Cap Kapak (Axe oil).
12. NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): Happy Hours.
13. NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): The sight of a police road block.
14. NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP: Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
15. NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME: Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! On second thought, why bother pronouncing Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better, when the local mechanics say "Pew Jeot". When I was in school, Milo was always Mee Lo, now that I'm sophisticated, I say "My Lo". So don't be embarrassed saying "Carry 4" when the Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as "rangutan".
16. NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION: The Bra-less Tourists. See how heads turn and traffic slows down or causes even tailback car accidents when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes bouncing about on the streets.